Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 


At the front of the Coles bookstore in our mall, there’s a table filled with older hardcover novels that are on clearance. One of them happens to be a tale based in the Renaissance period, and as far as the dust jacket tells me, it’s one of those “the story behind the inspiration for a famous art masterpiece” books. This one centres around Michelangelo and his “Birth of Venus” painting, notably the woman who becomes his model for the titular goddess.

Now the cover of the book doesn’t have the Venus painting, but it’s got part of one of Michelangelo’s other paintings on it. And it’s that of a nude woman--a tastefully painted nude woman

Hang on…is that a torch-bearing mob I see in the distance? And are they chanting their usual mantra of, “Won’t somebody think of the children? What will happen if they see a nude woman on display like that?”

Well as it so happens, I know exactly what will happen when a child sees that obviously scandalous book cover. I was witness to such a terrible encounter. As I left the store, an 8 year-old boy walking by saw the cover, pointed to it and without a second’s hesitation exclaimed (and I quote), “Saggy boobs! Saggy boobs!”

So please, people: don’t display your Renaissance paintings out for little boys to see. Otherwise you’ll never hear the end about how Renaissance cleavage needs to be perkier. Don’t think of the children. Think of poor bastards like me who nearly choked to death on their laughter when they heard that reaction.

Labels: Saggy boobs are destroying books for children everywhere

posted by Phillip at 7:10 AM

 


You know, there are many things I'm still attempting to Zenfully accept as a way of life, as something I cannot change no matter how much I might try or wish otherwise. I was able to keep my sanity as I saw Halloween costume displays up & running a week before school started. Even now I've been able to keep a sense of understanding about why our store already has 2 bunks of winterwear. (But on the plus side, at least this year one of those two bunks has new things this time! New items! What a wacky notion!)

Alas...my Zen was profoundly, uh, unZenned this weekend. I happened into the Bay store within our mall, and noted how they were changing the set-up in the seasonal section. Gone were the patio tables and BBQs. In their place were open boxes displaying...Christmas trees.

Why, God? Why?!

There's a curious proverb that goes something along the lines of: "Even the Buddha loses patience at some point." Well there's my point right there, and it's decorated in tinsel and candycanes, and is wearing an angel for a hat. I'm starting to think now's a good time to retaliate and dive right back into the Christmas novel "The Stupidest Angel," where the titular angel resurrects Santa Claus and inadvertently unleashes a zombie plague.

But to at least give some semblance of balance, here's a great moment in DC comics where someone's inner otaku is showing.

http://www.wiccananime.com/smcards/sections/spottings/HinoRei.jpg

And if you read the second panel, you'll notice that not only has Superman lampshaded this, but might also be an otaku as well. Now all we need to do is make absolutely sure the martian Manhunter doesn't end up getting inspired by Nabeshin. (Who else has suddenly pictured the big, green hero sporting an afro? Yeah, that's my bad...)

Labels: can't sleep the Christmas trees will eat me, Martian Manhunter x Super Sailor Mars is my new favourite ship

posted by Phillip at 7:53 PM